She's really a thorn in my side sometimes ~

Hiya !!
Do ya still remember me  ?
"I bet you do ...."
" Boohoohoo please tell me you do ~~  T.T "
It's been a long time , right ?

Life has been a mess recently ~
With my mom shouting at me to speak that lousy damn English and bla bla bla~
Although I do love English really much ~
But what does she expect ~
Me ~ speaking English fluently after 14 years speaking Chinese with her ~
LOL that's Bullshit !
Moreover , I'm studying in a Chinese school  ~
14 years , speaking Chinese at school and at home~
WHAT?!!
She wants me to speak English and even threatens to stop me from touching the computer !
Rubbish !!

Although I know that if I'm not shy or afraid , I can speak English really well if I want to ~
The reasons I don't want to talk to her in English are because:
1st : I don't like the way she tell me to do things ~
2nd : I'm the kind of person who -won't do things the way people wants if they push me to do them ~
3rd : It feels really uncomfortable to speak English to one whom I've spoke Chinese to during the last 14         years ~
4th : It's really hard to express my feelings by speaking in English compared to Chinese ~
5th : I don't like people correcting my mistakes ( although I know it's for my own good) ~but still...
       When people are correcting me ,  I feel like ...well... useless...and that also reduces  my confidence~

My English's not bad , you know ~
I even get an A for it ~
But ...
I just don't feel like speaking it ~

Mom's really mad now ~

There is no point arguing with the barrel of a gun ~

Maybe....

I will overcome my weaknesses ( shy and low confidence) and speak English ~

Maybe I won't ~ 

Gloomy Tara ~