Lame post * Title-less *

Say !
I actually know myself quite well..
The fact that I've said I didn't believe myself in my last post is quite the proof.

this has 75% of chance of achieving 

Do I look like I'm someone who will make an extra effort to realize the resolution they make themselves ?
Will you believe me if I say I AM ?

Well ahah I even limit my resolution to make it more achievable tsktsk
what ?
Ah ~ the kind of 'human being' who talk big but no action.
I remind myself of my detestable 'father'.
G A R B A G E

To reduce the similarity between me and my so called 'father'
I've decided to blog today .

So .
I feel like further stressing about my reasons of not updating hmm..
'Cause it will eventually get into the main topic of this post .

It's not like I don't want to update ...
It's just that I .... don't really have the time to do so !
Blogging is not something can just be done THAT easily .
It can't be done even if you have the time.
Getting into the mood is also one important factor .
idek whether what I'm saying is a fact or just BS

By now , you must've known what's my excuse :p

Tbh last week I can squeeze time to blog , but I didn't do so because I don't feel like it.
Especially after a long day WORKING .
I swear working is every bit as hard as studying .
Or maybe HARDER .
Now I finally understand what my mom always say when I was young =.=
Back then I used to think that what's so hard about working that one will get so stress everyday
Now that I've experience that myself .
I can absolutely understand the feeling .
After being so careful everyday at your work place to prevent yourself from getting scold by your boss , when you reach home one must've wanted to relax .
But then your mother comes and annoy the shit out of you by shouting about some tiny problems.
Anyone in their right mind will definitely get annoyed .
Isn't that so ?

Well idk if that applies to anyone other than me .
I was REALLY annoyed when my grandma shout at me when I came back from office urgh.


I cannot continue this post anymore I'm really sorry .
I just came back from hard labour today !!
I felt really bad that this turns out to be a really shitty post :(
I'm tired. So tired that I can sleep right away if I am lying on my bed right now .
Please. Excuse .Me.
Do consider this post as an example of what happens if I force myself to blog when I am physically and mentally tired .
Idek what this post is about..
I'm sorry .
Goodnight.
I really need to cut some slack for myself .
I actually get two jobs and I work 7 days in a week .
5 days office work and 2 days hard labour.
Why am I torturing myself like that .
I didn't know I was feeling so miserable about working on weekends until the tears fall .
I really felt miserable looking at people having fun when I am working ....

2015 Resolution

Good day, my dear blog.
I didn't make any promise that I will update my blog anytime soon in my last post.
Yet why do I felt bad for not updating  hmm .
I will not go on with my delusional excuses about why I didn't update my blog .
So I might as well get into the topic of this post.

It's FINALLY 2015.
THE YEAR I GRADUATE* .
THE YEAR I START ANEW.
I don't want to make too many New Year Resolution this year.
In fact making any resolution has been regarded as USELESS by me.
BECAUSE I don't think I can live up to my resolutions anyway .

Still, making resolutions in a new year is a tradition.
I will keep this tradition alive.
But this time ,I will make some resolutions that will actually come true.
Unlike this , I WANT TO BE A FUNNY PERSON THIS YEAR.
Growing up , I've came to accept the saddening truth that I can never be funny .
I cannot make/tell jokes.
I cannot make anyone laugh merely because of me.
I AM A DOWN TO EARTH aka BORING PERSON.
I don't talk bullshits. I don't ask questions that is unrelated to what I'm doing / what I'm going to do .
If I've ever did all those stuffs , I'm not being myself.
Not being myself is what I've gotten used to anyway .
In order to keep or make any friends , I have to NOT be myself most of the time.
I'm really sick of that .
So I've found myself a girl friend last year.
She's not pretty *most of my friends are not anyway* *I guess that's what you call birds of a feather flocks together , I'm not the pretty type either. So , that's actually NBD. Making pretty friends makes me even more depressed anyway . My self esteem is low enough , I don't need that to degrade myself even more*
SO BACK TO THE TOPIC.
She is tall . As tall as I am .
We are alike in quite many ways.
She's not funny . (Like Me)
Not talkative . ( Like Me , but we can actually find topics to talk about when we're together.)
Has flaws in certain subjects ( Hers is English and History , Mine is Maths )
We are so alike that I can actually be myself most of the time when I'm with her.
That's probably why I've spent quite some time with her last year.
We were each others companion .
I'm using past tense because these are already in the past.
Since I'm not going to the same school with her anymore this year .
I 'm concluding our relationship in one sentence .
I'm glad that we were friends .

Anyway , I'm pretty sure I'm out of the topic right now :p
2015 Resolutions.
First of all , I want to pretty . That's actually possible , I can assure you .
As most of all the people says , MAKEUP DOES WONDERS.
It's not like I'm just going to depend on makeup .
I have to be really determined in losing weight .
The last time I saw myself on the weighing machine , I'm almost 55 . DAfaq ?
Losing 5 kg is not that hard RIGHT ?
PLUS , I  am doing hard labour these days .
Surely I can lose weight within weeks RIGHT ?
/.\ I wish someone can give me a definite answer . *sigh*

Second , I want to go on a trip ALONE to Japan .
Alone is already impossible since my dear mother who has suddenly become over-protective recently objects that idea.
Going alone is really thrilling to me .
I wonder what people will I meet if I go alone .
Also I wonder if I will speak in Japanese with the locals when I'm there.
I want to confirm if I'm actually THAT low in confidence .
Sigh .

Third , I want to have a love relationship like Irie Naoki and Kotoko Aihara.
Third , I want to be a good baker and be fluent in Japanese as well as in Korean .
Good Baker is possible as my dear mother has finally bought me an oven .
Now I only need all the supplies / maybe cash to buy my supplies.
Fluent in Japanese and Korean is 1/2 possible as I'm pretty lazy recently .
Hopefully my laziness will end soon like everything else.
Since I have this major year goal to travel to Japan this year.
Perhaps I will really work hard in Japanese.

Fourth , being myself , I want to make new friends.
Is it actually possible  ?
Maybe I should make a backup fourth resolution . /.\
I will make an update regarding this.

Fifth & LAST .
I want to be an active BLOGGER .
This ....
I have a disease named LAZINESS .
If that disease is ever cured , this WILL come true .
And since this is a resolution , I have to make sure this last but not least resolution will be achieved.
I WILL BECOME AN ACTIVE BLOGGER .
Since everyone has different definition for being active .
My definition of being active is at least one post per week .
Seeing my current determination , this has 75% of chance of achieving .
I am sorry it's not 99%.
Just that , I don't really believe myself *sigh*.
I'm in the midst of quitting twitter .
I really hope that I can spend the time that I used to scroll twitter and butt my head in other people's BS to update my blog .

I have made these five resolution .
Actually I have quite a list of resolutions in my mind .
But I have to keep the rate of achieving all the resolutions in this post as high as possible .
Therefore , I have chosen this five.
The others are actually bullshits . :p
Eg : I want to be less sensitive . I want to be fun and lively . I want to make true friends . I want to get a good looking guy friend.

Those are some of the unrealistic resolutions I have in  my mind
Being sensitive is already part of me . Just like being down to earth symbolize me .
If you ever saw me stop being sensitive , then the person in front of you is probably not me.
Fun and Lively . Ahah . Don't you find it contradicting for a person to be down to earth but fun and lively . It's never going to be achieved.
I have came to the age to realize that true friends doesn't exist .
Therefore , I'm gonna stop bs about that .
Good Looking Guy Friend .
Sure . I'll get myself one.
In my dream .

Goodnight dear blog .