Black Star

Now, I am in a WHY THE HELL is this happening to me mood ...
My forehead is creasing like shit and I absolutely feel like crying ....BOOHOO...
Uhuh , I really don't know why the hell the school has grouped me into Art Stream and put somebody lousier than me to Science stream ....
That's really a MAJOR news to me since I really thought that damn school will put me into Science Stream after my appeal ...

Seriously , this thing has been tormenting me like for the whole time waiting for the results ...
I was like kept having bad dreams about that .....
and then ...
Tadah .. The piece of fuck which I've been waiting days and night give me the most shitty results ..
Kill me ... Oh no ...Kill them all ...

It's not like I hate account ...
But just , my dream and everything just ...OMFG ... I think I can't live as an environment scientist after all..
I'll just live a normal life and become a normal accountant ...
If I ever get a job in Aussie , that will be GREAT ...will that be a little impossible ?
Nonono...We people needa believe in our wants just like what THE SECRET movie said .
#I can do it # I can get a great job in Aussie as an accountant #I can live an AWESOME life in the future

Still, getting separated with my buddy is no good ..
And then , I think I have little friends in Art Stream ...
And, that sec 1 maths teacher who HATES me might have a chance in teaching me...
*I don't wanna her teaching me since I hate her too TT
And , MY MOM DOESN'T LIKE IT !
Oh Fuck ... Uh....HELL

Anyway, keep talking about this shit is just going to make me feel sadder...
So , lets talk about something else..
Yeah ...
I'm REALLY happy since there are friends who like my blog...
Thanks all <3

p.s I really wanna watch Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 !
Bye
p.s.s The title is sooo random lol

For You Buddy XD

Dude , like seriously I changed the blog address so that I can keep something to myself ..
But , uhuh...you said that you've found  it out ...
Although you didn't specific tell what you've found out ...
But from my girly six sense , I think what you have found out is my blog , RIGHT ?

Anyway , I don't know how in the world you've found out my blog ..
And then...thanks for the reminder that Australia is not part of Europe ...
I absolutely sucks at Geography , and you know that , don't you ..
So please don't laugh at me...

So Breaking Dawn -Part Two is out ...Wanna watch together ? Or you've already watched?

And then, of all my souvenirs I bought from Aussie , I've bought the most expensive souvenir for you since I get the birthday present from you... We are even then ...
Uhuh...I'm trying to do three things at one time now...
So this post is going to be really short ..
Bye and goodnight ...
ps.#my mom's voice is ultra annoying ...grrh

Trip to Australia

People ! I'm back from the trip yesterday...

Uhuh, that was my first time going to Australia !
The first thing I saw there > grass, more yellow grass, cool and dry ...

Seriously , after my cousin immigrant to Aussie , they certainly changed a lot ...

Their height and daily lifestyle and speaking .... I was like OH MY GOD ? Is that you ?

And my pessimistic self came out again ....

I start realizing how lousy my English have been compared to them ...

How lousy the people at my country comparing to theirs ...

Difference : 

People at my country- pick up something which doesn't belonged, they kept to themselves....

People at Aussie- pick up , put in pocket , wait for the owner to come , and RETURNED ...

My mom was all Oh my Gosh that guy is so NICE and everything when she got her items back after she left it at some place ....

Yeah , right...I'm not saying all Australians are nice ...and then ...we've also met one rude b**** ..

And then , it's not like all's her fault anyway ...

I can't blame my mom for taking her way of doing things to Aussie....

I was so TOTALLY embarrassed that time .... 

It's a long story and not worthy sharing since that just remind me how paliah us Asians could be ...

Yeah back to my cousin ...

Those three boys are my cousins .... and they are really worthy introducing to people out there..

Seriously , they got their Aussie slang after staying there for 3 years ....

I was like so jealous OMG  .... 

And wannabe like me just try hard to sound like them in every way ...

Sad Case ...

Anyway, I've already aimed on doing well in the exam and study in Aussie ...

Yeah , and I've force my mom to get a job in Aussie , so that we can go immigrant to there...

I will pray for my mom ....

#mom please get a job at Aussie #mom please get a job at Aussie  #praying

I just want to leave this lousy country ...like forever...

The oldest cousin at Aussie who is one year younger than me is even taller than me now ...

I mean, if basketball can change so much in him ...

I'm lucky that I didn't get into the basketball team....

He's like grown into a teenager in one year , change in voice , height and personality ...

I even get awkward around him ...I had to keep reminding myself that he's younger than me and try to talk with him ...So that we wouldn't get overly awkward when we see each other ....Aha ...that's new ...

And then the youngest cousin over there ..

He start from afresh there...So his slang in English in like the best among three of them...

Still, we get along real well since I really like C-U-T-E and N-I-C-E kids ...

I've got myself lots of cheap and awesome stuff and clothings from garage sales and the Salvo...

Actually, my mom got me them.......

Thanks mom then !!

I hope I can stay there forever, and there's almost nothing bad about that country ...except the ULTRA-DRY weather and part of the racist white people ....

I'm kinda addicted to their FM there..

Taylor Swift's I knew you were trouble has made her my bias recently ....

Rihanna Shine bright like a diamond sounds kinda like Justin Bieber's voice ...

Justin Bieber Beauty and the Beat is kinda nice too ...

See...

If it's not for their FM , I will not even listen to these songs , 'cause I'm too occupied with k-pop...

But now , I'm trying to pull myself away and stop myself from addicted to k-pop...

It made me happy, made my day once. But they also have completely changed my lifestyle and ruined my life...So they sucks ...

I'm gonna work hard in my English.... 

Pictures of my trips will be posted to facebook when I'm free...

That's all for today ... 

What should I name this post ? X)

Hi dudes #^.^
Counting down for my trip to Australia XD : 2days

I'm 97% looking forward to it , 3% not wanting to go there so fast....
Since my bruises aren't completely healed...
I will be 100% embarrassed if my uncles / aunties / cousins asked me  a b o u t  i t ....
Haiz...Haiz...Haiz...
I need some healing potions right now .....
Witches anywhere ? Fairies anywhere?
Make me some eh TT

#things to share 2

Just finished reading my buddy's blog .....
Ayyy...why any topic including friends just make me sooo depressing TT
Buddy 1 keep posting how happy she is this year to have found her BFF s.....
I still remember that time when I first introduce her that dude   ,
which is once a classmates of mine which I find really CUTE & b r a g g e r ...
Buddy 1 didn't has a good first impression of her and keep ignoring her , which make me feel a little mad at buddy1 rudeness lol...
Now that dude is her BFF ~

Imma SPEECHLESS ....

And Buddy1 also mention that she made lots of good friends this year.....

Good for her ;)

Though I feel a little useless and sad....

This year might be the most lousiest year in my three years high school life TT

Lousiest results , Little friends TT , Not active in knowing / making friends , Being a little too quiet #problem  , ...

My way of being rude in school ..

Is either staying quiet  * which "they" have given a name for that : emo * lol

I really don't understand how staying quiet can be concluded as being emotional ....BS lol

I should never make some stupid promise here last year ....

I promise to myself that I will be sooo quiet this year till nobody even know I'm in the class lol...

What kind of stupid promise is that ?

The crazier thing is that I actually follow what I've promised ....

I did become a lot more quiet than last year TT

I thought it will be a good thing since there's nobody teasing me anymore ...

But it's NOT actually , being quiet also make me a little lonely ,

Since I can only stick with some specific groups ...

And if I got "abandoned" by those groups , I'm left to myself....

And it's happening a little too often this year , since I've only make friends with a few people...

And some of them have too many friends , and I keep getting "abandoned" lol...

Seriously ? 

Dude , I think I have some socialize problem lol....

I hope my mom can send me to some etiquette classes ...REALLY !

I hope my uncle / aunties will not ask about my results .....

Please ~

I'm just gonna simply take it over .....

Oh right ! I almost forget to share a AWESOME movie I watch recently...

I was looking for some ghost movies to watch that night , 

But then I found " Hello Ghost " the most view ghost movie on PPS ...

Then I watch it ...

Thought it will be some kind of funny ghost movie ...

But it turns out to be a really touching movie....

I don't know why I'm so easy crying when I'm watching that movie alone lol....

It's SUPAH touching ~

Really , I sincerely recommend you all to watch it XD 

  

Bye Bye ! 

Remember to watch it ~

 

Concluding

Actually the last post title gets its name when my mom can't stop looking at what I'm typing WTH ?
And I'm really really super angry when my grandma told me that she will confiscate my phone if I didn't get good results .....
Haiz ....SERIOUSLY ?
I will be really angry if she really confiscate my phone, lol
Did I not study hard ? Dafuq...
If you wanna me to make a great drama out of it .... try me .....by confiscating my phone lol..

My primary friend Estee hehe is really SWEET eh ...
I'll get her a good present for Christmas when I'm back from Australia XD

I look forward to Christmas ....
BTW , I'm sorry if my last post has hurt anyone's feeling ...
I really want to take it down after posting but I so wanna get that thing clear ....between me and my view of you..

This is it then ....
Estee just whatsapp me Life Is too Short to be sad ...
uhuh ...WORTH sharing XD

Leave Me Alone !

OMG !
Is my last post sarcastic lololol...
I'm pissed ...NOW !
And I fucking want you to reply my tweets of 1000 questions lol....
It's either you are busy or you are clearly showing me that you are mad at me...

2nd I'm just sarcastic at my family part .
Other than that , I'M SAYING THE TRUTH ~
Is it not ?

It definitely seems like I'm starting something right now....
You mad ? I'm sorry then ...

This TOTALLY sucks when people mad at me for what I have post lol...
Did I ever mention that's you ?
Oh Seriously ....

I'm definitely good at making people regret ....
My mom did ...I bet you did too ~

Crap ~ My life is a CRAP  !
I hate my family and everything around me ...
You probably thinks I'm just nothing with a bunch of hateness inside me ....
And I bet you think I'm really fake since I'm not showing what I really am in front of you...
That just TRUE then ....
Ignore me if you really think I'm a pest like that ...
I do not need someone that 'understanding' around me.....

So what SERIOUSLY ?
Cut it off ...
If you all think I'm not a good friend for you , then just cut it off ....
WTH am I doing right now ?
I just feel so lonely and I should just learn to accept it ...
Cause I'll probably even more lonely in the future....

Tell me the truth then .....

ps: For you all not to misunderstood , my "you" stands for a lot of people....
     If you really think I'm talking about you , ASK ME !
     I will be glad to answer your 1000 question ....

Melancholy Day with a melancholic post

Hiya ! Everyone is like a little melancholy today for reasons I do not feel like knowing ~

Apparently today is our ermm... "graduation day ?" 

WTF graduation day lol....it's not like we are not seeing each other next year lol...

I'm cold-blooded ...*and I know it*

So what ? Change me !

I really wanted to faster graduate from this school and start all over in a place where nobody knows me..

Maybe I will feel lonely or maybe I will become a brand new person ...

Brand new person as in Active in everything , making more friends , all that SHIT which apparently I'm not good in right now ~

I'm a little angry today ....*Maybe very angry*

I just don't know .... I am mad at everything ~

Mad at my damn brother for running away and not getting scold !

Mad at my results which I had work hard for didn't turn out as good as I want !

Mad at myself for I keep having a feeling like I'm some leftovers that nobody wants !

Mad at my grandmother for that damn slapping in my face and my mother for adding some pretty scars on my left hand just because of my attitude which apparently I've learned from this damn world lol !

* What grandma/mother ? You wanna know where I learn those from ? Ask yourself then ! 

Grandma , the problem you have with my eyes makes me wanna HATE YOU so much !

What ? Do I need to have your permission to glare at someone I'm pissed of ?Second , if you slap me because of the wideness of my eyes ...Get this STRAIGHT . I'm born with such big eyes and they will come in useless if I didn't use them to glare at you when you slap me in the face *twice* and it will be really useful for me to glare at that damn boy for shouting at me ! My voice had been sooo nasty ? I fucking don't think so ..I'm used to treat him like that .... So you too ...just get used to it since you know how very much I hate him ! I've blinded myself with hateness and the fakeness of this freaking damn world .. So? What do you want me to do ? 

This is sooo STUPID !

Why are there even something like friends or family in this world ... 

Having friends is a great thing if you have some true friends ie : 

1. telling you smth they dislike about you straight in the face and not behind your back

2. Didn't try to be fake so that they wouldn't hurt your feelings 

3.Didn't backstab you also doing something guilty that they know might break the relationship between us

4.Didn't let you feel left out

Mmmhmm.. 

I once feel really sad when my primary school BFF said that they wanted to stop being friends with me ...I cried ! Because I think I like them really much ? *forgot* 

Secondary school friends >< I just don't know .... I don't like the way they treat friends~ 

Everyone just keep these in their heart and just prefer not to say about it ....

I just want to blab it all out and let myself feel better ...

BUT ... 

I really can't make myself to say those during my school years .....

So lets just wait till we've graduate from high school ....and I will post something about how I feel about my close friends ~

So ? 

Quite alot of my classmates signed my yearbooks today ...

What they think I am is ? I'm cute lol... Cheerful lol...Optimistic lol...Blurry <damn right yes>

Why I don't give a shit with the comment that I'm cute or pretty ...

They just end up NOTHING ...

That korean and one of my sec1 classmates thinks I'm pretty..... once ..

But for reason which I really don't know ... 

They didn't feel it that way after some time spending with me ....* I have a ugly soul ? *

So I didn't believe that I'm cute or pretty or whatever ...

You who tells  me that has get yourself grouped to sarcastic by me ~

And Cheerful ?

That's just something I prefer to show it out ...

I will be super Cheerful if you didn't get me sad or confuse or whatever ...

Just ...when I'm angry and a little sad ...

You just won't find that cheerful side of mine..

Optimistic ?

Ha-Ha..

By reading all my posts ...you will never find me a optimistic person lol...

I'm an incredibly pessimistic person if you don't know ...

And then ...

NOTHING ~

I've still have a major problem in choosing between Science or Art stream ...

I've been group to Art stream ...

But for my ambition in the future, I decided to send my appeal to principal to change me from art stream to science stream though my maths really sucksalot..

I hope I didn't make a wrong decision ...

So there ~

I don't hope to meet everyone soon ..

Goodnight....

A very melancholic post indeed..