Apparently today is our ermm... "graduation day ?"
WTF graduation day lol....it's not like we are not seeing each other next year lol...
I'm cold-blooded ...*and I know it*
So what ? Change me !
I really wanted to faster graduate from this school and start all over in a place where nobody knows me..
Maybe I will feel lonely or maybe I will become a brand new person ...
Brand new person as in Active in everything , making more friends , all that SHIT which apparently I'm not good in right now ~
I'm a little angry today ....*Maybe very angry*
I just don't know .... I am mad at everything ~
Mad at my damn brother for running away and not getting scold !
Mad at my results which I had work hard for didn't turn out as good as I want !
Mad at myself for I keep having a feeling like I'm some leftovers that nobody wants !
Mad at my grandmother for that damn slapping in my face and my mother for adding some pretty scars on my left hand just because of my attitude which apparently I've learned from this damn world lol !
* What grandma/mother ? You wanna know where I learn those from ? Ask yourself then !
Grandma , the problem you have with my eyes makes me wanna HATE YOU so much !
What ? Do I need to have your permission to glare at someone I'm pissed of ?Second , if you slap me because of the wideness of my eyes ...Get this STRAIGHT . I'm born with such big eyes and they will come in useless if I didn't use them to glare at you when you slap me in the face *twice* and it will be really useful for me to glare at that damn boy for shouting at me ! My voice had been sooo nasty ? I fucking don't think so ..I'm used to treat him like that .... So you too ...just get used to it since you know how very much I hate him ! I've blinded myself with hateness and the fakeness of this freaking damn world .. So? What do you want me to do ?
This is sooo STUPID !
Why are there even something like friends or family in this world ...
Having friends is a great thing if you have some true friends ie :
1. telling you smth they dislike about you straight in the face and not behind your back
2. Didn't try to be fake so that they wouldn't hurt your feelings
3.Didn't backstab you also doing something guilty that they know might break the relationship between us
4.Didn't let you feel left out
Mmmhmm..
I once feel really sad when my primary school BFF said that they wanted to stop being friends with me ...I cried ! Because I think I like them really much ? *forgot*
Secondary school friends >< I just don't know .... I don't like the way they treat friends~
Everyone just keep these in their heart and just prefer not to say about it ....
I just want to blab it all out and let myself feel better ...
BUT ...
I really can't make myself to say those during my school years .....
So lets just wait till we've graduate from high school ....and I will post something about how I feel about my close friends ~
So ?
Quite alot of my classmates signed my yearbooks today ...
What they think I am is ? I'm cute lol... Cheerful lol...Optimistic lol...Blurry <damn right yes>
Why I don't give a shit with the comment that I'm cute or pretty ...
They just end up NOTHING ...
That korean and one of my sec1 classmates thinks I'm pretty..... once ..
But for reason which I really don't know ...
They didn't feel it that way after some time spending with me ....* I have a ugly soul ? *
So I didn't believe that I'm cute or pretty or whatever ...
You who tells me that has get yourself grouped to sarcastic by me ~
And Cheerful ?
That's just something I prefer to show it out ...
I will be super Cheerful if you didn't get me sad or confuse or whatever ...
Just ...when I'm angry and a little sad ...
You just won't find that cheerful side of mine..
Optimistic ?
Ha-Ha..
By reading all my posts ...you will never find me a optimistic person lol...
I'm an incredibly pessimistic person if you don't know ...
And then ...
NOTHING ~
I've still have a major problem in choosing between Science or Art stream ...
I've been group to Art stream ...
But for my ambition in the future, I decided to send my appeal to principal to change me from art stream to science stream though my maths really sucksalot..
I hope I didn't make a wrong decision ...
So there ~
I don't hope to meet everyone soon ..
Goodnight....
A very melancholic post indeed..
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