Friday 13th 2015

Blogging is really hard when you don't feel like it.
There are times I really wanted to blog because there are too many thoughts in my head.
However , all the thoughts are too scattered.
To be honest , I don't even know how to start.
Just like today.

Twitters are for us to tweet our thoughts at the moment.

Which is probably  the reason why most of the people preferred tweeting over blogging.

I too, am the same , once.

But on one 'fine' day , I realized twitter brings more harm to my life although it does help me to release my feelings.

I don't always keep my feelings to myself.

Writing brings me peace .

That's why I've started blogging.

But ever since I know the existence of twitter , I've abandoned this blog .

Twitter is not as good as I thought it was .

You follow the ones you love/admire a lot .

But once they tweet , you slowly find out about their true personality .

There's absolutely nothing bad about it if they have a good personality in person.

But if you are like me , you have to hide the bad side of you in real life because it's not really that likable .

Twitter just expose too much of it .

That's why I can't stand twitter .

Also , twitter brought too much misunderstandings.

People likes to tweet bad things about someone indirectly.

They don't mention their name .

They just go on and on about their feelings without worrying about others feelings.

People who thinks a lot , like me , will really put ourselves in the wrong shoes , thinking they are talking about us .

Sometimes they really are , but they will deny it anyway, then you will go to a corner , think and rethink , feeling all miserable.

Sometimes they aren't , and you'll just end up humiliating yourself.

Maybe this circumstances only happens to me . or maybe not.

Well whatever .'

I didn't come today to blog about twitter.

I was feeling really down the whole day .

Normally , I  just feel at peace . Or maybe trying to feel at peace .

But today is really ....urgh.

No matter how hard I tried , I can't find the happiness in me .

I can't find peace .

Perhaps it's because of the drama I watched every morning when I arrived early in the office.

I paused it at the most heartbreaking part .

The part that almost made me cry .

But I can't possibly cry in a OFFICE .

So I hold the tears in .

I was feeling sad since the morning .

Maybe the feeling stayed with me longer than I want it to .

Or maybe it's completely unrelated to the drama.

Maybe I'm just really sick of people bossing me around.

However as a newbie , I cannot complain .

I know nothing about doing things right .

Therefore, I tried to please everyone .

But everyone just asked too much of me .

Making me feel like their own personal lackey.

Maybe next time I should just ask them whether they want to have a cup of tea before they start their work , right ?!

I'm trying my best to keep the feelings to myself .

I am really trying to be a more likable person .

But it turns out I've made myself into a introvert instead .

I kept my feelings in . 

Trying to feel at peace in order to improve my patience.

But those people really just know how to take advantage of a good me.

It's hard to be me.

I really do feel like blogging only when I feel depressed ahah.